What should I do when I face rejection. How to face rejection? This question haunts every human in which ever age they are in or in which ever profession they are in. Can anyone ever become perfect so that one can never face rejection? "Shall I divert myself when I face rejection or shall I stop to work or shall I continue my work and continue to face rejection? What is right?" is the dilemma everyone faces.
Let us find the right way to deal, with the help of this case study.
Case study
Historians and archaeologists have a great role to tell a story about our past. There were times when Darwin's theory was believed and was meant right. But, the same Darwin theory is now removed from text books and rejected due to various reasons. With wonderful revelations by archaeology, we feel, the history can be something else. Given this situation, it is natural for the famous historians, to live with fear, fear of what people think and fear of rejection.
The archaeologists haven't yet dug up the earth as much as they could to find the real history. As they keep digging, new truths will be exposed, only to give our history a new shape. Till then, the current revelations act as facts and the basis for many theories and analysis. So, as time changes, work improves and revelations expose. How to decide what is right and what is wrong. Do we have a scale.
To quote another example, Mahabharata was considered myth and not real. But, once the archaeologists encountered the scriptures and found the Dwaraka City under the sea, the myth had changed to reality. So, the work of the people, who struggled to make the scriptures to be believed as myth, is a waste now. The archaeology department, once they come up with anything new, their current work analysis will take a shape of "time-waste work". Because, the facts keep on changing as they find anything new. Historians constantly face fear of rejection and force themselves to prove their theories are correct. Archaeologists continue to explore and challenge their own teams to prove their connection of dots. So, where will you put an end to the fear of rejection.
As a reader, to whom to give recognition and what to consider right. So, lets understand that when ever the (raajasic) work mode is on, definitely, (thaamasic mode) fear of rejection takes shape, leading to more damages and more thaamasic qualities like self-destruction or becoming harmful to the society or to people around them. Thaamasic nature doesn't mean staying lazy.
Krishna says about thaamasic work style in chapter 17,
मूढग्राहेणात्मनो यत्पीडया क्रियते तपः।
परस्योत्सादनार्थं वा तत्तामसमुदाहृतम्।।17.19।।
mūḍhagrāhēṇātmanō yatpīḍayā kriyatē tapaḥ.
parasyōtsādanārthaṅ vā tattāmasamudāhṛtam৷৷17.19৷৷
Meaning - Works performed, causing harm to self and to others in the form of foolish attempts and irrational trials, become thaamasic in nature.
Krishna says, thaamasic nature of working involves torturing themselves due to fear.
So, in our case analysis, historians, though they think, they are at work to ensure and prove what they do is right and what they told is right, which literally means though they think they are raajasic and saattvik, they are actually following thaamasic work style. Because, performing a task with fear, fear of not able to take the comments from any one, fear of rejection, fear of non acceptance. Many-a - times, this is our case in our own personal, professional and parental lifestyles.
But, in today's world, how do we prove our word and work if not spoken outwardly, if we are not publicising our work. But, communicating a work done is different from publicising a work. Definitely, people who worked, with fear or without fear, want to get recognised. Because recognition gives unknown power and energy. But this work style falls under raajasic and again leaves us with expectation and leads us to thaamasic mode.
Krishna mentions about raajasic work style
सत्कारमानपूजार्थं तपो दम्भेन चैव यत्।
क्रियते तदिह प्रोक्तं राजसं चलमध्रुवम्।।17.18।।
satkāramānapūjārthaṅ tapō dambhēna caiva yat.
kriyatē tadiha prōktaṅ rājasaṅ calamadhruvam৷৷17.18৷৷
Meaning - Raajasic nature claims good works that are performed with pride in order to gain respect and honour. These works cannot remain permanent and can keep on changing.
If people work, to prove their worth and usefulness through the form of recognition, raajasic nature takes the front seat. Can we not be of that style? Yes, why not, but Krishna immediately tells as well, that these works cannot remain permanent and hence, we should be prepared for that. In our case analysis, archaeologists, work to prove with pride how well our civilisation is, which country evolved first and which species evolved first. They work, they gain respect, as long as they portray a picture to the public about their findings and analysis. Again, the same analysis changes as and when they come up with new exploration. Nothing is permanent in their work as Krishna said.
We experience the same in our personal and professional life. All the awards and accolades do not add any sense after some years. Every material achievement becomes past. People's appreciations keep changing as per the type of work and type of person. The same people might not praise you again like the way they did earlier. Thinking "why should I do when no recognition by near and dear", we see a decline in our performance.
So, can we sit idle and silent, because someone will continuously contradict me? No. Because, our very nature is work. whether through mind or body or both. We just have to work. Avoiding the work and working out of fear is thaamasic, expecting the recognition is raajaasic.
What really remains fresh and new is our self-satisfaction. So, if we work towards self-satisfaction, we automatically, forget to take the path of recognition. But, how do we stay self-satisfied, with out fear or rejection, without asking for recognition.
Definitely Krishna has an answer. Krishna mentions about saatvik work style in chapter 17.
श्रद्धया परया तप्तं तपस्तत्ित्रविधं नरैः।
अफलाकाङ्क्षिभिर्युक्तैः सात्त्विकं परिचक्षते।।17.17।।
śraddhayā parayā taptaṅ tapastatitravidhaṅ naraiḥ.
aphalākāṅkṣibhiryuktaiḥ sāttvikaṅ paricakṣatē৷৷17.17৷৷
Meaning - Concentration on the ultimate, the work we do, through involvement of body, speech and mind without getting diverted to final result and expectations of particular result is said to be the nature of saatvik work.
Rejection issue solved.Working without understanding this nature can only lead me to rejection again and again. So, work towards self-satisfaction through body-speech- thought coordination. Working with all 3 coordination is saatvik work style. So, in this process, we become our own analyst, our own judge as only we know how much coordination we could get when performing a work. Not just rejection, but also insecure feeling, unhealthy competition, fear of working because of someone's pressure are under a check when we concentrate on our own self - coordination.
In our case analysis, Historians nature of work is to work on the right story as per the writings they get and they have. They just have to continue with the evolution of their work as per the findings. Self- Pride, that "I did", cannot take a front seat when we want to give importance to our performance improvement. Because, one day, again there will be someone who will challenge based on another school of thought. Archaeologists cannot work thinking what they found should remain as a permanent story. Because, their story might not be recognised by many other countries. But, they should continue to work to evolve themselves.
Work, not because, you are fearing someone or something, not because you have to be recognised, but to attain your own coordination - body, speech and thoughts.
Is this not what completes us, evolution from thaamasic to saatvik... from sense of pride to sense of coordination and sense of satisfaction. Lets search in and around our own circle of people, we will definitely find one who follows the real saattvik work style.
Lets explore bhagavad gita and fill our self with self-confidence, because, this is what stays with us forever.
----------Keerthi Peratla.