A Smile filled with Patience.

I had not seen any of the wars I studied in my history, but I believed it all happened for real. And there are successful kings and queens and there are failed kings and queens. If I had a book about those kings who were successful , the process, the way they think, who helped them to be successful. It would be a great case study for me to lead as a leader. Well, I believed in one more war which happened, Kurukshetra war. And yes, there is everything I wanted is written in the book for my case study and that book is Bhagavad Gita. And the man behind the winners is also mentioned, that is Krishna. 

Right now, my case study's topic is who can be a good companion for you in the time when you need the most. 

Everyday may not be a war scene for me . But, my decisions in the office and at home impact many people around me. So, I want to see myself as an achiever in whatever small or big things I do. Whom to approach to get simple answers for my everyday dilemmas. What should the person be like or possess? 

To do combined studies, we have good friends in school. To learn a world of activities, we have awesome teachers and lecturers in schools and colleges. But how about dealing with a dilemma or emotional factors in life. 

One day, my son came to me and asked "what will happen if I stay lazy all day?" Hmm interesting. I immediately pitched in and started giving him a lecture and a chain of thoughts. One more day, he asked me, "What if I don't go to school for an year?" and one more time, "What if I eat only junk everyday" As usual, I always interrupt and make him discontinue his talk and start giving him some manners lessons. Which I used to think, I do for a betterment, but we usually land up in frustration and shouting at each one or rather make it really not a good environment to stay. I know, I am missing some element. 

Especially in family matters, between kids and parents, between husband and wife, what I had observed, all of us have the habit of giving free advice, whether out of experience or out of love. Many cases, it had created frustration and very few times had a solution. 

So, while I was reading the bhagavad gita, I placed myself in Krishna's place and my son in Arjuna's place. What if your son says he can't perform infront of huge audience after all the set up and practice is done just like Arjuna giving up on war just because he can't harm his brothers? If I were in Krishna's place, I would definitely be panicked and lost control of my mind. But Krishna didn't. Then, what did he do 

Chapter 2, Shloka 10 -

तमुवाच हृषीकेशः प्रहसन्निव भारत।

Meaning -

This struck me. Wow, how can Krishna smile in such situation? How could he be so patient listening to him all through? 

In fact, before even I dig up on how, I understood that we can deal such crucial situations also with a smile and being patient. So, the important take away for me here is listen the whole story and wait till the opposite person asks for a solution. So, I tried to practice this with my son. 

You know, when you take such new resolutions, you feel the road gets rough. 

The same way, after I took the resolution, that, 

be patient in listening to the other person's story, 

no judgements made, 

ask or advice only after the other person asks, 

Well, two days later, on an afternoon, after my son is back from school, he was having his snack and started talking. He said, he did something really bad and he wants to share with me. As per my resolution, I had to be a good listener, patient and no judgements. Well, he went ahead, in telling that during his exam, he had to copy from his friend's paper as he didn't know atleast one question in the paper. Hmm. Like any other day, I didn't scream at him, I didn't try to degrade him by judging him. Infact, I could stick to my resolution, I was patiently listening  to his grief. He said, " I could finish all the answers, but I had no joy in that. I missed many classes because of cold. So, I couldn't answer anything. " I asked was he feeling bad. He replied yes and he felt relieved. Then, he was in a peaceful mode, after letting out his grief. He was ready to listen to what I say. 

What would I speak, when he himself realised that he did wrong. His own conversation had lead him to know what he wants. All that I needed to do there was be all ears and patient to understand him. But ya, as a parent, I had to reassure him that he could do well next time, I shall support him in all ways to prepare for any test, and I did. The conversation was peaceful and ended with a solution. Didn't know I can also be patient and I can also give gyan after listening to the problem rather than pitching in between. 

Such simple things, bring in such peace and confidence.

If 1Shloka can bring in such a change in the environment around me, I am eager to know more about the details of how Krishna convinced Arjuna. Probably, by implementing these, I can become a better leader.

Join me in being patient and being a good listener. 

Lets explore Bgita, lets implement Bgita. Because, action speakes louder that words.