Attachment vs Detachment - Know it once for all and for real

A workaholic is attached to work. A new mom is attached to her baby. A boyfriend is attached to his new crush. A student is attached to marks and getting a seat in the dream college. A chef is attached to the new experiments with old flavours. . A saint is attached to evolving to the higher paths. All these people must have faced depression at some point of time in their life due to different situations. 

In whichever role we are in, we get attached to the nature of the role that it demands. Only then we can perform with full justice. During the performances in this journey, we overcome a lot of emotional turbulences. Why does it happen? We get so attached to the role, that we own it up and would love to work as our own, give our full, and finally enjoy the result of our effort. If the result is not fulfilling or appreciative , sadness prevails. Sometimes, this sadness acts as a step to learn and move further. But, sometimes, the same sadness irritates and asks us to think low and bad. However, we continue to do our work in all our roles, no matter what ever role we are performing at that very moment. 

Well, can we limit these ups and downs? So, is attachment wrong? What does Krishna tell about attachemnt of work or people?

सक्ताः कर्मण्यविद्वांसो यथा कुर्वन्ति भारत।

कुर्याद्विद्वांस्तथासक्तश्िचकीर्षुर्लोकसंग्रहम्।।3.25।।

saktāḥ karmaṇyavidvāṅsō yathā kurvanti bhārata.

kuryādvidvāṅstathāsaktaśicakīrṣurlōkasaṅgraham৷৷3.25৷৷

Meaning -  Bhaarata! Unknowledgeable gets attached to the work and duties. The same way, the learned should also perform duties, but without attachment and with only desire to benefit the people and the world where he is living in.

To understand this clearly, lets take a case study. There is a start up which  provides solution to an age-old problem. 5 years went by ,it is doing great. But time has come for it to expand and make it big. The founders of the start-up have two important things to decide upon as they are left with only two options in hand. 

1. To go slow with whatever funds they have 

or 

2. Sell the company for a good valuation

and forget about the future of the start up. Because, we know, once sold, it is definitely not ours.

It is very easy to be as a third person to advice the founder, hey, just sell it, you can start something else with the money you get. But, lets understand the founder's dilemma. The founder literally had dreamt about the way they all could solve the problem with their thoughts and ideas. And now, suddenly, those dreams will be fulfilled by someone else. No control on the way it heads and provides solutions. No control on the decisions. No control even if the solution is no more as per his dream. But, we as a third person feel, "Arey, what more, you get more money. just sell and quit." But what can the founders do?

Lets imagine another situation where money is not involved. A little boy  wants to clean the whole house all by himself. Dad and mom are worried and cannot leave the boy like that, without help. The boy is adamant not to take support. What should the parents do? 

Remember, Krishna says in above shloka, the whole point for us to learn is - it is the intention, thought, belief that is important and not just the action. So, our attachment should be towards intention and not action.

In the above case, the parents might feel for the little boy "you get tired, you cannot do, " , etc.. what if the intention and belief driven for parents towards the boy's work is "ok, you try, but we are here to help you when in need."

The founder of the company, might decide to sell to the big shark, but finally what matters is the intention. He might have acted like the third person had advised... but what matters is his intention... did he sell with the intention to make it more useful to people and he will be available to work for the solution in any manner whenever necessary. or did he sell with the intention that he got money and he doesn't care anymore, 

You might be working under a project in your office with all attention and hard work. Suddenly your boss might be asking you to transfer the project to another team. Will you be furious? Why? Because you are attached to work.

Now that you are aware of Krishna's knowledge, implement it now. Transfer your energy towards thinking - "My role is to work here to solve problems in the company in my  limits. Whichever problem I had to solve, it doesn't matter, it only matters, whether you are working to solve. And are you learning and solving a crucial one, one after the other." This attitude helps you grow further as you concentrate on the work rather than on the unnecessary political thoughts like "how can my work be transferred and to whom did they want me to transfer". Rather you can think, "why and what do I lack... to improve and to evolve.. but continue to work, not with attachment but with thoughtfulness."

Is it not difficult...yes,,, Krishan says in Chapter 2, withdraw slowly like tortoise.

यदा संहरते चायं कूर्मोऽङ्गानीव सर्वशः।

इन्द्रियाणीन्द्रियार्थेभ्यस्तस्य प्रज्ञा प्रतिष्ठिता।।2.58।।

yadā saṅharatē cāyaṅ kūrmō.ṅgānīva sarvaśaḥ.

indriyāṇīndriyārthēbhyastasya prajñā pratiṣṭhitā৷৷2.58৷৷

Meaning - When one is able to draw his senses from the objects of sense on every side, as a tortoise draws in its limbs, then his wisdom is firmly set.

Wow, I heard this same analysis somewhere else. Recently, to know more about our Brain's anatomy and to combine the learning of Krishna's teachings and the science of the brain, I started learning a Neuroscience course with Neuroliving by Warrier brothers, Siddharth and Srinath.

Dr. Sid, the neurologist mentions that the  emotional aspects are taken care by the system in the brain called Limbic system which is situated above brainstem. And the logic, all types of quotients like social, cognitive , calculation, creativity, future planning is taken care by the front part of the brain called Prefrontal cortex (PFC) . This Prefrontal cortex should slowly takeover the emotional aspects of the Limbic, with proper tone and gesture.

He says a very valuable truth and explained how limbic has been there since billions of years and how PFC had evolved much later than limbic. So, limbic always takes responsibility to take control of the situations like big brother and hence,  it takes time for us to manage the emotional aspect and become balanced with the help of PFC.

Dr. Sid adds that, PFC should be involved in works like doing something like sacrificing, fasting, so that the limbic understands how important the work is and limbic doesn't disturb with emotions and allows to achieve with dedication.

This neuroscience course absolutely reminded me of the shloka by Krishna in Bhagavad Gita, about what to do and what not to do and Krishna mentions how we should sacrifice and get involved in work through attachment to learn more and more. 

किं कर्म किमकर्मेति कवयोऽप्यत्र मोहिताः।

तत्ते कर्म प्रवक्ष्यामि यज्ज्ञात्वा मोक्ष्यसेऽशुभात्।।4.16।।

kiṅ karma kimakarmēti kavayō.pyatra mōhitāḥ.

tattē karma pravakṣyāmi yajjñātvā mōkṣyasē.śubhāt৷৷4.16৷৷

Meaning - What is action? What is non-action? Even the wise are puzzled in respect of these. I shall declare to you that kind of action by knowing which you will be freed from evil. 

गतसङ्गस्य मुक्तस्य ज्ञानावस्थितचेतसः।

यज्ञायाचरतः कर्म समग्रं प्रविलीयते।।4.23।।

gatasaṅgasya muktasya jñānāvasthitacētasaḥ.

yajñāyācarataḥ karma samagraṅ pravilīyatē৷৷4.23৷৷

Meaning - Of one whose attachments are gone, who is away from various thoughts, whose mind is established in knowledge, who works only for sacrifices, his Karma will merge into the universe.

Well, Krishna, in the whole chapter 4, transfers the knowledge on sacrifice, obtaining knowledge and through this, asks us to test our self-control.

What a wonderful coincidence by both modern science as well as our ancient spiritual text. Both talk the same. Thats why probably, it is said in Sanathana Dharma, "Truth remains constant at any given point of time." And we are so lucky to observe these small revelations and realise what's happening around.

Well, to make the Krishna's learnings even more relatable, lets observe within our own social circles, on how the power of sacrifice had made them dedicated to work and improve self-control. Lets learn to stay attached to learning and development and so, we will evolve to understand when to be attached and to what to be attached and this automatically teaches how to be detached. Lets work together. Lets convert everything learnt into action, slowly and slowly. Remember, action completes you and fills you with ultimate confidence which you can wear on yourself forever.

Convert your question "What am I getting out of it" to the question "What am I learning out of it? And why am I so attached?" Definitely, you will find a solution at your doorstep and you can be a better decision maker whether to be attached and to what to be attached. 

-----------Keerthi Peratla